What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
