Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
