what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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