Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
