we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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