im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
