Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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