Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
