check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
