Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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