Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
