My first STD was from a foam party
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
