just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize