when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
