my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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