Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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