mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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