Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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