I want to stick my p in your. b.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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