I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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