Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
then he tried to convert me to islam
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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