There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
