I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
