i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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