I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
