He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
