Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
