it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
