I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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