My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize