Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
