If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
