best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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