you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
