Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
