You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
