It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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