She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
