Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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