Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
