I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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