yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
