i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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