this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
