you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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