between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
