How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
