standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Boobs are out for the taking
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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