I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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