so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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