You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
