were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
