drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
