How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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