Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize