i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
