3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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