Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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