so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
