Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize