I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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