i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
