Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
