I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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