And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
