Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
