didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
