You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
