So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
