Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
