the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
