I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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