Who did Billy Mays play for?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
